Submerging Senstation

So recently, I moved into Cendawan again, found one lonely housemate staying inside C1-6-3, (Send a viral bomb and I swear I will haunt you.) and moved right in. The next thing I knew, poor guy left the apartment leaving me all along with 4 empty locked rooms.

So what did I do? Of course I did the obvious.

I stayed inside one and broke inside the other. Now I have an entire apartment to myself and 2 empty rooms (One that has recently been converted to a 'dobi' room.) What did you think I'd move out? Don't worry, it may get lonely sometimes here, but I can blare the music at top volume and don't have to be considerate about my housemates. Plus, I'm sure the guys below and above would mind hearing a little Frank Sinatra. I am sooo tempted to make up imaginary housemates. But then again, with all the spook stories going up at Ilmu, I wouldn't want to be the first one to officially create a new one here. So I'll scratch that one out. Wasn't that hard to break in the other room by the way. All I needed was floss, a pair of scissors, my watch and my tie.

In other news, Zil is attempting to do the Cold Turkey again. That's right. Quit smoking. The second time. Yes I see that look of disbelief on your face. And yes, I don't give myself for making such a bold statement.

Acid: So you're quitting the 2nd time?
Zil: I dunno about my 2nd time. But I'm optimistic, because they say the third time is a charm.
Acid: *raises brow*

I think that about wraps it up.

Besides that, one of the reasons as to why I enjoy staying in Uniten is all the funky dreams I get whenever I sleep. I had this dream whereby I was on a trip to some exotic Island somewhere. Palm trees, sunshine, pearly white beaches, crystal clear water, all that. Then it came the time where Halley was going to drag me home. I started sulking, thinking that I wanted to stay here in my paradisic Island. So I started yelling "No I don't want to go home! I want to stay in the sea! God Lives Underwater!" and I retaliated against my brother who was trying to grab me by going underwater. I saw the beauty of the ocean then, the white sandy beaches below my foot and the crystal waters infront of me.

Then it all went black.

I wasn't sure how much time had passed, but it felt like 9 hours. I wasn't sure why, but it felt like 9 hours. I emerged from the water finding it all black in colour, with rough currents trying to drag me out into the ocean. There was a storm now, and lightning whipped across the sky of the dark clouds. I saw Halley in the distance calling out to me, so I ran quickly across the waters. It was time to go home, I knew. The place had changed, and it wasn't safe here anymore.

And then I woke up. Few days later, I found myself swimming after many months of not doing so.

Now how's that for a Nightmare?

Zil: Leah Dizon is pregnant.
Jin: ;;!!&%$#@! Stop TElling ME THAT! You know when I first found out about that I was half asleep and traumatized.
Zil: Fuck man, she's just a supermodel celebrity. Why should you care so much?
Jin: I had a dream where I was married to Leah Dizon and she told me she was pregnant and it wasn't my child.
Zil: ..;;!!Manbabies!! Dude you're FUCKED UP!



Song of Today:

Louise Armstrong - Mack the Knife

Ballad of the Eternal Distortion

The Wizard
We are the unseen hand of fate.
Our services, are simple: We change lives.
For each life we change, we change fate
For every fate we change, we change the Whyrl
And if the Whyrl change,
We too must make comprises to change for it.

Fate the earth time is wind
For our services, we grant glory
For our method, we turn you against our enemies
For your knowledge, experience will suffice
For our payment, we take digression
As it is written

Follow us, and I guarantee
For every single life we change
Potential is something worth looking for
And our deed is more selfish than it seems

The Jester
Now would if be Ironic
Your business of making heroes
Led by a person who adorns the cloak of villainy
If he was once a hero
Who was the true hero that changed his life
Is he earning his true now in silence
To honor the glory bestowed upon him
Or does he sees the greater schemes of things
Can you really trust a person
Who puts his faith in fate
and works manipulate others to tempt it
How do you believe in making heroes
When you yourself had fallen

The Princess
I had led an unusual life
To bring what lives beneath
To glimmer in the light of glory
Why does it seem strange
Despite all my efforts
I am denied of what I long for
That which I give others
A purpose of existence

Does he fear me for what I can bring?

Fragile Body Clock

Pretty soon I'll be moving back into my Mushroom-infested apartment, and begin another outlook at my never-ending life at Uni.

Maalini: ...I came in about 2005...
Zil: Really? Did you ever see me as one of the Fascis?
Maalini: YOU were a FASCI?
Zil: Kenji was I a fasci?
Kenji: Not that you look like one but you I did remember you telling me.
Maalini: So how long long have you been here?
Zil: Since 2002.
Maalini: WHAT ARE YOU STILL DOING HERE GET OUT OF HERe!!

Okay I admit. The cat is out of the bag. I've been here too long for most people. I'm still studying. But hey, I learned alot of new things plus I'm not really that 'anxious' to begin on working life. Albeit, it is a hold of responsibility that every one of us will eventually have to grasp at some point, but judging from the vast majority of my friends, I don't really see it as something great to look forward to. (Unless it's Yap, who's always lucky at whatever he does.) Me, being an extreme of happiness or depression would certainly rather enjoy a life where meeting new people becomes a norm of everyday process as well to meet the requirements for a temporary insanity.

In the meantime, besides the social perks, I've been able to catch up on a lot of reading, which mostly centers around the super-macho Warhammer 40k universe (Did someone just shout Fanboi?) Reading up now on Ciaphas Cain, finished the first book and in the middle of the 2nd, it has already helped improve the writing style of my blog. (shutup.) I have to admit, the books Ciaphas Cain series gives me more inspiration to write as compared to the previous books of the series. I'm all prepared now to write the story, just lock me up in a room with a computer and ample time and I should be able to do a good work.

Give me Mary Jane while you're at it if you ever decide to do that.

Other than that nothing major to update cept for the top above confession so I'll see what this time brings me.





So moving on, let's talk about my recent general physical state, which, as I would like to say, is a perfect picture of bad health. As most of you know, I have been constantly struggle against sleep, whether is lack of or abundance, over the past few years and now I'm beginning to see it take a major toll on this faux body of mine. (Faux cause I believe the real corporal being of mine transcends matters of flesh, although eventually I still need it to convey certain things into the material realm.) Lately for the past 2 weeks, I've been burdened with odd and irregular sleeping hours and durations. As a result, I have sharp pains in my joints, a constant tensing body, and have begun to cough non-stop. Previously, whenever I was afflicted with this peculiar bad habit of mine, it would take me at most one week of rehabilition to fix my schedule. The worst case scenario, which caused me a month full of headaches, was corrected with the proper dosage of sleeping pills (it's not valium).

This time around, It has achieved the prominent bad state once again, with aching joints all over and more oddly irregular sleeping time. I thought the a visit good ol Doc would help me obtain some sleeping pills (again, regretfully is not valium). The first night was blissful. A Dreamless Sleep and then waking up early in the morning and attended the class is a good mood, absorbing every information, with a leeway of time to let my thoughts run wild in imagination. Today is the 2nd day, from which I am writing this blog with tearing bloodshot eyes with big black rings underneath. When the doctor told me that I should stop playing games in the middle of the night, I thought it wouldn't hurt to have a round of Soulstorm or two. However, it turns out the adrenaline pumped into my body during that particular game was enough to keep me awake the whole night. Caffeine has been my best friend and my worst enemy (see below) and it doesn't help that a nescafe truck came into Uniten today to hand out free coffee. I need to stay awake, so I figure at least 5 cups would hurt.

It didn't hurt. But I have a swirling vortex of warp energy in my head now.

On a lighter side of note, I also found out why my hands constantly tremble; It's a common symptom whereby instead of having sweaty palms when you're nervous, my hands start shaking due to the misfire of nerve system. Cause of terrible trembling can be due to the lack of sugar or too much caffeine in my system. Also, taking in sudden large intakes of sugar will cause the sugar in my blood to rise drastically and then a sudden drop causing my hands to once again vibrate at 70 revolutions per second. (For more detail, look up wikipedia for Shaky Hands and make sure it's not a band.)

Thankfully, somewhere around 5 am this morning I decided to pack some stuff and drive to Uniten so that I'd tired myself and get some sleep before class at 10am. Although the original intention to drive all the way to Uniten was to catch a fag, which I left in the apartment, but somehow, even with inputing nicotine inside my body, I managed to fall asleep. Two hours later, I slithered out of the bed and went off to class, determined to do better this semester despite my rapidly declining health.

Which finally brings me here, eyes still tearing from the lack of sleep and lungs still punctured to never ending coughs. By right, I should quit smoking, cause it's about time. My small body simply just can't take it. However, I'm not sure what kind of repercussions it might bring that may cause to impair me for the next few days. And yes, even as you read this, I can already hear your thoughts thinking "Just quit Zil, it's going to do you more good" but still, having near psionic-like empathy is not good enough sometimes. I'd like to hear from you.

I want to quit.

Encourage me to let me live longer.

Long post. :P But yeah, I'm in a writing mood and I don't really have any of my previous drafts to work on. Out of the mood now so I'll guess I catch ya later.

Song of Today

Akira Yamaoka - One More Soul to the Call