A Thousand Glances and the Perfect Window

hm... I wanted to post a long blog here about how this place have lasted for more than a year. I was thinking about reflecting on what has happened to me over the past year. .. but I thought about it and I think I've accomplished more when I turned 18. Time flies, and I'm going to be 20 this year. I think I should focus on the things I have yet to accomplished. I had my share of Freedom, Adventures and Immortality.

So, here's an ode to the Future and Boredom.


I remember telling myself,
The Future will bring suffering,
If I don't enjoy this freedom,
I would eventually accomplish nothing.

In College I'll have test,
Then job hunting is no fest,
Then in Work I'll get no rest,
Then dating I'll have no guest,
And Marriage is not a bless.

So why worry?
What's the hurry?
Take your time
Spend every quarter and dime
Toasting to Good Times,
Drinks, Friends and Fame,
and None of the Change,
and More of the Same.

At the end of the day
After I had my way
That I had lost all Balance
With my Immortality Challenged
The flow of time is fearless
As strong as a raging river
And we are pebbles
About as strong to stop it

Youth was not wasted,
In fact it was swift.
Only the person youth occupied was,
If you catch my drift.
I may look young
Like I would live forever
When you feel that way
You wish you didn't
Though I have many stories
I have none of my own
But now I learn
That I do yearn
For things to be different
What they shouldn't not always be

Now College is mediocre,
Work looks like a treasure chest.
The dating game however,
I'd rather had face the test.
I thought others broke my heart
When I have broke theirs too.
The hearts I really wanted,
Was much too far for me.
The ones that really loved me,
I was too blind to see.

What youth had missed out
Or had failed to see
Could always be obtained
In the hands of the legacy
But it's not too late they say
To waste your life away
But I find myself defenceless
Like fighting against the sea
All I find myself doing
Is listening to the Lemon Tree
That song is good for me

A Thousand Glances
Through the Perfect Window
But a single leap
Would be more meaningful.



I'll think I'll give my Grandfather a visit tomorrow. I really wonder how is he doing.

Song of Today;
Offspring - Dammit, I've changed again
Maroon5 - This Love

Dead Inspirations

Myuuu...........

Show me a straight jacket and I'll show you a One-Size-Fits-All.

Actual ICQ conversation;

Zil: Yo.
Yippie^: hey...................ya(do-do-do-do)
Zil: ...?
Zil: I got Lex Aeterna already.
Yippie:^ you think you've got it....ohhhhh...you think you've got it.....and I forgot the rest of the lyrics.
Zil: Hi John. Wanna come over later?
Yippie^: not bad.took you two msgs only.
Zil: I'm good.

Damn I miss the good old mistaken Identity crisis we played back in RO. There's always a distinct pattern in most of our speeches when we talked online. Me and my lust for capitalization and punctuation, Yippie and his laziness in short forms and Jin somewhere in between. If Hamsa were to come online, he's probably start the conversation with "Oi.. Farker." As for John? Er.. It's kinda distinctive too. The last time I talk to Zhin, he was stoned on 'Rumpai' and wanted to talk to me in BM. Just like everyone has been saying to me, imported weed taste better than local ones. As a matter of fact, here's a picture of Zhin attending The World Pot Smoking Day (OMG, there's such a thing? Aaargh!). Seems to happen every 20th of April. Lookit all the number of people stoned there. He's the dude with the Cowboy hat.

http://www.geocities.com/evilzil/420-04_panaroma_01.jpg

Well, anyways, for once in my life I'm looking forward to attending the add drop session soon in Uniten tomorrow. It's about time I get some sunlight into my system. The wart in my foot, (it's still freaking there!) caused me a big handicapped to go anywhere fast. I can't go to Aiki. And I can feel my body getting rusty. Life by just getting up and playing the PC/PS2 feels forever once. Need to get some exercise badly. Not to mention all these weird dreams I have every night (Frankie Muniz joined Linkin Park and My Dad saved the world from Meteor Storms, WTF???) makes this week even longer. Hopefully after prayers tomorrow I get myself a pair of sunglasses. it's gonna look cool with the Cowboy Hat I brought from Tioman. Mehehe... Time for more inane web camera conversations. (By the way Zhin, I still haven't forgiven you for doing that Nipple Dance while I was Micromanaging the Penos. >:O)

I add something new to the picture of my homepage... But I just ran outta inspiration. >.< Plus, Frontpage isn't installed on this PC. >.>

Again, I really could use some exercise now. The sooner this thing gets outta my foot, the better. >.< But then again... I think this post is totally pointless. =P

Insanitary Confinement

Bleh... In a very agitated mood today. Just got back from Chris' apartment where we went to watch some Heavy Metal video clips. Some of it was so bad, that it would make Diva video clips not so bad. I'd rather stone at Britney shaking her ass instead of watching this shit. It's very bizzare. And not in a good way.

Despite all the planning I made in the entry of 4/4/04 (Cool date!), I found that I haven't really done much after the Tioman trip. I've got a tan, which isn't that bad looking. But being the darker child of the family, now I feel adopted (Why did my two brothers got Mom's fairness and all I got was her height??). My room is still looks like giant mutated roaches would just spawn from there and start cleaning it because they couldn't stand my own sloveness. The only diligence I found was the ability to frequently update my blog. (O.o Congrats!) I haven't driven for a long time either. I'm starting to miss all the long distance driving I do everyday and the pixies I runover along the way. My pet car Kelisa just returned from the repairs today and it looks so sparkling clean. So clean that I feel almost unworthy to drive it. T_T

So besides that, I've been at home with Solitary Confinement. Which pretty much drives me up a wall. Again. (What? And wasn't I the one complaining about staying in Uniten? Damn hypocrit. =P)

I'm finally bored of playing RO. At first I was there for the game. Then I was there for the people. Then I was there for a job 50 aco. Now even with the 2-2 job skills around, I'm really not that eager to play another mage/archer/aco to start sage/bard/monk. Monks are really cool though. Their Asura Strike is cool and kills knights in one blow. They also have a Grope-yer-ass attack. Check it out.

http://www.geocities.com/evilzil/screenIris006.jpg

Geocities usually don't allow a direct linkup to my pictures so you'll have to use the traditional cut-and-paste stuff. =
Suffering has been a pretty good entertainment to me though. But since I'm nocturnal on holidays, it's just too freaky to play alone in the middle of the night. >.<


Recommended Anime;-

Tenjou Tenge - Freakin Fan service man! So many B-Shots.

Today's Emmy goes to;-

Meredith Brooks - Bitch
US3 - Cantaloop
...and some other heavy metal stuff that I thought was pretty cool when I heard it. Then I saw the video clip.

If I had you had a heart, I'd shove it where the sun don't shine

Heart of Gold


What is Your Heart REALLY Made of?
brought to you by Quizilla


Seriously... I wonder what made me bother... Everyone else got the same results. =.=

The Cupid's Arrow was meant to be Lethal

More and more on the Days of Depression, yea? Well, I'm sure everyone agrees with this one. Loves hurts, and lately, I've been seeing a lot of cases. I've been meeting up with a lot of people I haven't met in ages and they seem to come up with a lot of depressing stories involving the mating game. There are a lot, but I'd like to highlight two. One for each sex.

For the gal, there's a person I refer to as Fursa. (There's a special meaning to it. But let's keep the annonymity.) Fursa is currently really in love with somebody who treats her like a mistress. (?) Knowing the malay culture (The ones that aren't corrupted like here in KL), they really should respect their women. In my friend's case, the person she loves was with another girl at that time. As of now, I'm not really sure whether he and the other girl are still together, but behind the girl, he acts really 'intimate' with my friend Fursa. Fursa is constantly asking me why is he doing this. Most of the time, I can only answer that somehow, with her, it's Sex without comittment. I really hate what that guy is doing to Fursa that it came to a point where I got so pissed I kicked a wall and the pavement broke (Oh shit. It's right outside the TA block of Uniten.) It helped Fursa to a certain extent. But sadly, Fursa likes this guy so much, she just can't let go of him just like that. He doesn't realise what she's gone through just for him. A lot of people are even blaming her for what she's doing. Up to a point where every girl blames her for any mistakes in the guy's relationship.
What a bastard.

For the guy, there's this person I'd like to call Joe (I think some of you know him). I'm not really sure of the clear picture on this one, but it's pretty depressing as well. Even after all the cheating, Joe was willing to forgive his women. Joe's woman even got mad when other girls called Joe. She even asked made him go get a private number. And put a very solid control over our poor Joe. At the end, turns out that after all the years of loyalty he had given to his women, one night she suddenly spends 2 nights with some other guy. Much older than Joe.
What a Real bitch. Joe will never forgive her.

This post goes out to all you fellas unlucky in love.

Song of Today;-
I will Survive - Aretha Franklin

Horror Reviews

Everyone loves horror right? So why wait till Halloween? I bring you two horror titles today. =)

First comes the Suffering. Made by the same fellas who brought you Mortal Kombat (Screw the gameplay, we were into it for the gore.) Midway gives us a game who looks in the insight of an inmmate named Torque (Look at his crazy sideburns!) in row for death sentence when all hell breaks loose (Hear that somewhere before, have ya?) The highlight of the game is that you battle monsters who come in the form of inmates who had been death sentenced (Needle injection, Firing range, decapitation) which is really cool.This game got some really spooky sounds. The occasional flashbacks are often disturbing and the conscience system is really cool. You get to decide the ending with it. =) The game is not really as hair raising as Resident Evil but if you liked Undying, this might be the game for you. >;)

The bad? Well, the other day, just for the sake of watching movie previews after for so long I haven't been to the cinema, I decided to watch the Eye 2. Here we get to see the famous Porn Actress Shu Qi become a psychotic woman trying to get rid (or save) the baby growing inside her. Can't really say nothing much about the movie except that there are some a really freaky scenes. Other than that, most of the scary stuff looked fake. The movie pretty much played on the belief of reincarnation. So, it's not really recommended for women who are expecting or mothers for that matter. Maybe for some women who'd like to suppress that maternal instinct. But if you ask me, why would any women do that?

*looks at the gloomy face of Yip as SuYee cringes about the idea of giving birth to the reincarnation of an enemy.*

I don't know about what you've read in the western books but as far as I'm concerned, Asian guys are a lot more sensitive that you think. =0

A New Beginning or the Walk of Dawn

Nice title. Felt like saying that. Well, anyway, exams has been over for 3 or so days and I've been hectic since. But I'm having a fair deal of good times and stuff. Reminds me why I put that title above "Zil's Dimension". In and out here and there. Saham's birthday was spent at Hardrock Cafe courtesy of our good man Raffique. So you can guess the kind of hours I've been awake at night.

Leaving to Tioman in a matter of a few hours with much less people than expected. From a crew of ten dropped to 4... Most of which unconfirmed last minute. One almost wanted to bail out last minute. But I got him to come anyway. which makes me pretty sick on how some people can cancel last minute. Reminds me why I should not try a career in management. But that may change. Who knows. Right now, I'd like to take off for a nice 3 day vacation. Clear my head of everything that has been troubling me lately and comeback with a clear state of mind so I can solve this problems.

Accomplishing this, it's just a start of a new semester in Uniten, where it would explain the title.

Meantime, I haven't been able to get my hands on that special prepaid packaging for Ragnarok. Meaning that I may stop playing the game and concentrate more on my studies/job (Provided I can get one. =\ ) Though it's still going to be hard since I'm leaving behind a Priest and a Wizzie. I might want to chip in with Yap and share that account though...

SuYee, Yippie, Saham and me still seeking for job. Preferably someplace in Megamall where it's close to every single one of us. John? Erm... Dunno. Didn't ask. Another reason for me to find a reason to work myself out was to also get Hamsa to start working. He's always so broke that it kinda constricts us from doing things. Hopefully, knowing that somebody is suffering as bad as he is, he may have some intiative to work for the money. As the saying goes;

Misery Loves Company

I wonder if it's a one sided love kind of drama.... O.o

Song of Today:-
Fool's Garden - Lemon Tree (I don't wanna sit on the lemon tree!!)
Rob Zombie - Living Dead Girl
Sugar Ray - When it's over
House of Pain - Jump around

FHM *** Ettiquettes

After how many days of waiting, the FHM magazine finally arrives at my doorstep. Strange, though because I do remember very clearly that I was the one who ordered it. In the end, the property of the magazines became the property of all. I admit it's pretty much of an eye-candy but I guess I don't have that much fascination over White Chicks.. Yet.

Friend A: Wow.. This picture really is good.
Friend B: When you read that, make sure you're far from it.
Friend A: Why? You...?
Friend B: Yep.

Friend A is our friend who has 1 letter "A" inside his family name. Friend B has 2 letter "A"s in his first name. Figure it out yerself.

This is one of the few books I realize that knowledge really is power. Contains hell load of hints on how to get your *ahem* to do *ahem* and while doing *ahem*, is better to do *ahem ahem cough pui splat* (Don't let the censorship fool you if you know what I mean. This must be the most indirect post I've put so far.)

Well, anyway, to prove the power of this knowledge which in the wrong hands may be as equivalent to giving Hitler the world domination, I decided to test some of it's knowledge on some people. No, NOT the physical one. I mean some of it's preferance kind of thing. It reads that majority of women enjoy seeing their men inside a Uniform. I asked a few of my friends and I was surprised at it's results. Turns out that they really do dig it! Some girls I've asked prefer their men in a Pilot's Uniform (?) and some even like them inside a Fireman (??) outfit. Things that would never really hit your mind in the first place.

I haven't really finsihed reading the entire 100 hints (O.o) and I'm already impressed with some of the things one thin book can teach you. But in any case, after I'm done with it, a friend of mine, who happens to have a girlfriend, wants to borrow it. And I've already given my word to borrow it to him. I'm dunno where I'll end up with this kind of knowledge, but I'm pretty sure it isn't wrong for anyone to have a look at it.


I'd would like to give most sincere apologies to any the girls who read this. Men are such perverts. But let me remind you that the entire knowledge was publish by women themselves.

Survivor Uniten: Casted out, but still in the show

Deng it... Still in the middle of exams. >.< Anyways, time for a little plan and rant.

Few things I want to do on my Holidays;

1. Buy some Sunglasses.
(Once a year for photoseintisis is fine, but not year round.)

2. Change the appearance of the blog
(It's been like, 5 months?)

3. Get the freakin wart out of my foot
(It's driving me insane. Feels like a thumb tack in my foot.)

4. Go for Aikido AFTER wart is being removed.
(Ever tried a flip when a part of flesh pokes into your foot like a thumb tack? It's wonderful. You'll do a dance of joy if you accomplish it.)

5.Shave
(...what?)

6. Patch things together between Epul and Zatul
(Kids fighting over stupid stuff. One is pretty sensitive when it comes to his orange Honda Civic.)

7. Neuter Plue
(I'm glad that he's not gay and screwing other male cats but it's going to be a lot more problem if he's hetero.)

8. Clean my Room
(I lost a Guitar under a pile of clothes in there once.)

9. Clean my Car
(I lost a Passenger under a pile of notes there once.)

10. Pay for Ragnarok
(I know the greedy son's of b*tches from Gravity will profit from this but hell no I will let my job 50 Acolyte go to waste. Probably quit after a month when everything's toned down a bit.)

11. Get a job
(Na na... Why don't you get a job? Yeah seriously. I could use some of the money for the one above. Meantime, could use something to preoccupy the time. I heard Hamsa's trying to get a job to carry stuff at the Garrett Gates concert. Nah.. I'd rather work at a food or book outlet and stone.)

12. Get everyone together for a game of DC.
(Provided no. 11 could be accomplished.)

13. Finish a few PS2 games.
(Devil May Cry, Omniwusha 2, Tenchu 3.... Oh! The Suffering is out. >:) Sweet....)

And lastly,

14. Enjoy my Trip to Tioman~~
(Provided no. 6 could be accomplish.)

Got lots of things to say
But I'll save it for another day
When my mind doesn't sway
And home is where I lay
And my cat isn't.... Gay?

LOL. XD Nights.